


Thanksgiving again

by CourtNicxVoltronxYJ



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Big Brother Shiro (Voltron), Bulimia, Depressed Keith (Voltron), Eating Disorders, Gen, Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Relapsing, Self-Hatred, Sick Keith (Voltron), Sick Pidge | Katie Holt, Team as Family, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:21:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21602140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourtNicxVoltronxYJ/pseuds/CourtNicxVoltronxYJ
Summary: It's Thanksgiving once again and Keith is sick and he struggles with his eating disorder.
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Keith & Voltron Paladins
Comments: 8
Kudos: 134





	Thanksgiving again

It was Thanksgiving once again and it was all going fine. Everyone knew of his struggles and Keith has came a long way, he can't even remember when the last time he threw up his food.  
He was doing so well, so well that nobody expected him to relapse, including himself.

Hunk was in the kitchen early that day getting every ready to be made and cooked. He had Coran at his side asking a million of questions about the holiday. Allura, Lance and Shiro all headed to the mall to do some early shopping. Pidge and Matt were on the couch, glued to the screens before them.  
And Keith?

He was in his room reading. He wasn't feeling the greatest and it had nothing to do with the holiday. A couple of days ago, Pidge had strep throat. He wasn't worried about catching due to his Garla genes, he hardly ever got sick and he liked it that way. He didn't want to be down and miserable and a big bother to everyone else. So Keith hanged out with Pidge as usual, the others taking a step back.

So when he woke up this morning to the feeling of a tight and sore throat, he cursed at himself. He knew he couldn't show any weakness for today or someone may think he's not okay. He was okay with everything except for this cold he got from Pidge.  
Keith heard the others moving about the house they were in, while he stayed still in his bed.

He thought if he pretend that he wasn't sick then it would go away and not be an issue. But he was so wrong.

As the day grow on, he felt more and more sick. His throat was killing him, he had a headache and now his whole body was aching. Keith sighed, not having to energy to read anymore or for that matter anything. He laid down and pulled the blankets over his head as he curled up in a little ball.

He slept for a few hours. He briefly remembers Shiro coming in to check on him, like the good big brother he was. He remembers Lance knocking on the door to say that dinner was soon.  
He was sick and he felt horrible. 

When it was time to eat, Keith tossed the blankets off of himself, put on one of shiro's big hoodies that he loved to cuddle in it because it made him feel safe.  
He slowly made his way to the others. His troat felt like it was being stabbed by tiny knives. 

Shiro walked up to him as soon as he entered the room. By one glance he could tell that he felt like crap.  
"Are you going to eat?" Shiro asked him.

That question was heard by both Pidge and Allura who were standing the closets to them.

"Why wouldn't he eat?" asked Allura, confused by the thought of Keith not wanting to do one of their holidays. 

"Are you sick?" Pidge asked and Keith lowered his head and looked at the ground. He couldn't look at her because he didn't want her to feel guilty about it.  
"You are sick" said Pidge and Keith looked over at her.

"S-Sorry" whispered Keith, talking was now seeming to be a pain to him as well. 

"Sorry? It's not your fault, I'm the one to blame" Pidge said and Keith quickly shock his head 'no'. Before either of them could argue about the topic, in comes Coran with a tray of food. 

"It's the dinner Turkey!" he shouted and everyone gave a small chuckle.

"Turkey dinner" corrected Hunk.  
"Oh yeah, of course" Coran said.

Lance poke Keith in the arm, catching his attention. "You coming?" he asked and Keith looked up. He had spaced out as everyone was finding a place to sit. Keith nodded his head and quietly sat beside Shiro. 

The meal went on slowly for Keith. He had to eat slower than the others because of his throat. Everyone was talking and laughing about god knows what, for he was spacing out, twisting the fork in his hand. 

At some point of the dinner, Shiro had gotten up without Keith noticing. When he came back he handed him a pill. Keith looked up confused at his older brother.

"Take it, see if it helps any" said Shiro and Keith nodded his head 'yes'. The pill wasn't huge or anything but it was difficult for him to swallow it. He winced in pain and Shiro patted him on the shoulder.

As dinner went on, he felt more crappy. When most of everyone was done, Keith decided that it was a good time for him to be done was well. He didn't pay attention to who collected the plates or who was doing the dishes. He was spacing out once again and he felt so tired. His body was heavy and he just wanted to rest. 

"Hey Keith," said Lance and Keith turned to face him. "Go take a bath and use some of my things to make you feel better. There's some bath salts in the cabinet." 

Keith thought for a minute.  
"Thanks" he said and off he was to the bathroom. That's when things began to go south.

He turned the water on and began to undress himself. The sound of the water running felt so relaxing to Keith. But then he saw himself in the mirror. Keith grabbed at his stomach and hated what he saw. He glanced back at the mirror then turned to face the tub. As his mind was racing he was biting his bottom lip. 

His stomach now hurt. He felt uncomfortable in himself. 

"The water is loud enough to block the others from hearing me" thought Keith. 

And after that, his mind was made up.

He lifted the toilet seat and stared now at the water before going to his knees. Keith took a deep breath in before he brought his two fingers to his mouth. 

As soon as he pushed them in and against his tongue, his throat screamed at him. He paused for a second thinking he couldn't do this, he was too sick but that thought disappeared as a new one came in.

" Just one more time. It'll hurt a little but it needs to be done. Just once more." Keith thought. 

He ignored the already pain in his throat as he pushed down, shoving his fingers back. At first he gag, he was out of practice. But eventually he got the hang of it and began to throw up.

The only sound that could be heard outside the bathroom was the running water.

Keith threw everything up. He looked down at his fingers that had some blood on them. He spit some blood into the bowl before he stood up and flushed. The first thing he did was blow his nose. It always got runny after he threw up. Then he quickly washed his hands and sprayed an air freshener cover up the smell of the vomit. 

He then looked at himself in the mirror once more. The guilt and pain were heavy held in his violet eyes. He was ashamed of himself but there wasn't anything he could do, it already happened. 

So he slowly slid into the warm water of the bath and tried to relax as much as he could. He remained in the bath until the water began to grow cold. He steeped out and this time avoided the mirror. He threw his clothes on quickly and rushed back to his room before on of his friends saw him. 

Keith threw himself into his bed, he curled up and held a pillow tightly to his chest.

"Not going to cry, not going to cry. Don't cry." said Keith's inner voice. He shut his eyes tightly. 

He wish he could forget what he did. He wish that Thanksgiving never came back around. 

Keith couldn't remember a Thanksgiving where he didn't throw up after eating. 

He buried his head in the pillow, trying to hold back the tears.

"Weak."  
"Worthless."  
"Failure."  
"Tash."  
"Unwanted."  
"Alone."  
"Nothing."  
Were the words flowing through Keith's mind at the moment and hearing those words, he listened and believed every single one. 

He couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He allowed them to flow with the hurt he felt inside.  
He knew he couldn't tell the others, they would be sad at him for once again messing up. He knew he couldn't tell Shiro because Keith knew that he couldn't see the hurt and disappointed look on his brother's face.

For Keith betrayed him. Betrayed them all but most importantly himself.

He cried silent tears all night until he was exhausted from everything from being sick, throwing up, his mind and the depression hit him hard. 

And he welcomed the darkness.

His old friend

**Author's Note:**

> I was keith today in this. I needed to get it out so I put it here and on Keith once again.


End file.
